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BOY SEGUN (welcoming y'all to a new year; Happy New Year guys)

It was early May on this side of West Africa, in the crowded city of Lagos, "Moulues"(those Yellow coloured buses) so numerous you couldn't count them with your eyes or fingers, hawkers so sweaty and smelly they mixed up with the vision of yellow and the brown skinned "peoples"; yes 'peoples' because they were way too many and brought back to mind the proverbial hardworking ants. Funny enough because Segun wasn't feeling at all up to the tasks of the day; he felt so lazy he wished he were back in his one room apartment, on his skinny –bug infested Vita foam, just sleeping or secretly trying out the latest blouses he stole- correction, borrowed from his girlfriend; Ada. Now that was way better than this his stupid mechanic job, he couldn't wait to quit and be free but he had to be patient for a few months; everything he had planned out needed patience. P-A-T-I-E-N-C-E.
  Segun, unlike most 21 year old guys, didn't dream of making millions, owning cars and a duplex or screwing the prettiest girl next door or probably get married some day. He_ Segun; what he wanted most in the world was to be a housewife and have  3 children, whom he'd always be with, change their diapers, feed them, always be there for them even when they fell down and scraped their little knees while playing football. Ever since he was eight and his mama died of cholera that was rampant at that time. He never did have a normal life again, whether it was because of her death or because he had failed to cope with his step-mother of nine years, Segun couldn't quite tell. While other boys played 'koso', or climbed trees, played with tyres, chased each other and disturbed the girls, Segun preferred playing 'ten-ten' with the girls, skipping ropes with them or play cooking with his sister Kemi with their mothers' old pot and some old 'komkomi'_ old tins that children used to play most of their games. When he was ten and the other boys teased and sometimes bullied him because he refused to play with them and because they found him weak to fit into their clique, while the girls, found it strange that a boy was so interested in their games and didn't even for once trouble them, laughed at him and called him 'woman wrapper'; a term used by people to classify boys interested in the lifestyle of girls. He did not find this funny especially after what happened on the 17th of December '01 when he tried kissing his male cousin Poli. Poli was shocked at first and acted upon his surprise by cursing Segun and beating him up till he cried and was eventually pulled out by Aunty Caro. Since that day he decided to keep his attraction to his fellow boys strictly secret. He was able to pass through secondary school without much drama, except that one time he unconsciously whispered to Henry during P.E, 'I think I love you....' and when Henry retorted, 'guy you dey craze?'Segun quickly covered up by saying it was a joke. Henry dismissed that convo with a very rasp, 'which kin joke be that', while eyeing him thoroughly before walking off and leaving poor Segun breathing heavily and thanking God he wasn't beaten or cursed this time. He winced as he remembered the way Poli had beat him up years ago. Tough as it was to admit, he liked boys but most importantly he wasn't comfortable being a boy. He wanted to be a girl with big breasts, long hair and round buttocks, just like Adas'. He also wanted to have children, breastfeed them, watch them grow, cook for them and be married to a handsome man. Segun wanted so badly to be a woman. He wasn't stupid though, he knew that in his community he couldn't even dare to say out loud what he really wanted, he knew most Nigerians found this sort of thing an abomination and that he might even be killed_ any means possible, so he kept his cool on this matter and infact blended in absolutely well. He got himself a girlfriend, Ada. She was a pretty Ibo girl from Delta and she was a good girl too. She didn't want to engage in pre-marital sex yet_ perfect for Segun because (eww, he couldn't even think about that with a girl...). Ada however was oblivious of her boyfriends' true sexuality; to her he was the sweetest, most understanding guy in the whole world. Probably, if she knew she'd possibly stab him with the knife she used to sell fish at Balogun Market on Saturday mornings. It was better this way he knew.
   Okay so back to today, Segun wasn't up for work, for checking spoilt exhaust pipes or checking the brakes for faults and the rest of the dirty stuffs he had to go through. Yusuf slapped his back just as he was thinking how nice the orange Ankara blouse Ada bought last week would go perfectly with that black pleated skirt he gave her for her last birthday present. Segun jumped at the pain of the slap than the surprise, he began to rub his back smoothly to ease the pain. Yusuf wanted to utter some insults in Yoruba but thought better of the commotion he might cause and instead turned around and went to the opposite direction to gossip with Akpan, their colleague. His head began to spin as his thoughts became mixed up with what he'd have for dinner, and how to break the news to his parents that he had gained admission based on scholarship to the U.S. He had taken the SAT's to study Communications at the University of Hope, Boston. He couldn't take it anymore; he got up and left the workshop without asking permission from Master. He didn't care if he was fired; he just wanted to get home, as fast as he could. He didn't even care for traffic and as he called a 'keke', he dialled Adas' number and asked her to meet him at his house as soon as she could. Trust her to hurry to his place as fast as she could for the sake of 'love'.
(to be continued soon...)


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my eyes are
brilliant: a firework of events.
my thoughts are
weakened; how come it took
this long to realize?
my screams are
crippled: hence the irony,
suiting this madness.
my heart is
consumed: inclined to a seul,
the imperfect affair.
my life was
still is: when will it fully blossom?
some lies are
a sign: love's very true own
my eyes are
not for seeing,
but feeling,
all these other lives
i dare not intrude
or touch,
for the better part of
this dreadful