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During Prayers

Our father who art in heaven ...", I opened my left eye
and
      then the right followed almost immediately.You know that guilty feeling when others are
      praying and your eyes are open? As if angel Gabriel would
      appear and "stone" (meaning to throw a stone at) your eyes
      for being an "eye witness" (someone whose eyes are always opened
      during prayers).
   

      The reason my eyes were opened was because of Jide.( Go johr,
      I wasn't admiring him), you see, there were rumours about
      Jide and Ogochukwu dating so I wanted to see for
      myself.
   
Eeh,Call me an amebo but "e no consine" me. I just wanted to see
      the current they would be passing during prayers.(You don't know
      what passing current means too? Ha! Okay, it means when two
      people get touchy igota?). Mtcheeew,nonsense,they both had their eyes tightly closed. "Bad market" my mind screamed, and I shut my eyes,
      squeezing them till I saw strands of light in the very black
      background and images of different shapes of blobs inbetween.
   
      I waited, honestly, I did wait_ I had counted up to two
      hundred and forty- five in my mind and still the prayer was
      still on, even Angel Gabriel sef would understand my plight; ah
      ah plus we were all kneeling o. And the "mummy" (in real sense,
      a twenty-two year old church leader, who has infact no child
      nor is married but hey, she's a mummy) had not even gotten to
      the conclusion of her prayers yet. She was still praying for divine mercy and Gods' miracle and I was imagining an alert of even 10k from some random person, as my own miracle. Or maybe 15k, I won't wish for 100k,ah ah, I'm not greedy now. Just 15k will do Lord.
      I had to open my eyes o. Before nko? I had finished praying my own.Then my mind did a stupid thing, it had to
      start thinking of hot okpa and custard. Of all things in the
      world! It had to be okpa and custard!! Not, pizza or spanish omelette but okpa and custard. Thank God I'm not
      catholic or I'd have been obliged to share my "father-I-have-sinned-I-was-thinking-of-hot-okpa-with-custard-and-maybe-a-plate-of-ayaraya-ji, during prayers"
      confession with a priest.
   
I tried to think of heavenly things instead, of Jonah in the fishs' stomach wondering what the hell he was doing there and how he was going to pee when he got pressed or how the rats in Noahs' ark must have been intelligent,civilised and well behaved unlike that uncultured rat I saw last tuesday running proudly towards my wardrobe.....
To be continued...

















































































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