Skip to main content

During Prayers

Our father who art in heaven ...", I opened my left eye
and
      then the right followed almost immediately.You know that guilty feeling when others are
      praying and your eyes are open? As if angel Gabriel would
      appear and "stone" (meaning to throw a stone at) your eyes
      for being an "eye witness" (someone whose eyes are always opened
      during prayers).
   

      The reason my eyes were opened was because of Jide.( Go johr,
      I wasn't admiring him), you see, there were rumours about
      Jide and Ogochukwu dating so I wanted to see for
      myself.
   
Eeh,Call me an amebo but "e no consine" me. I just wanted to see
      the current they would be passing during prayers.(You don't know
      what passing current means too? Ha! Okay, it means when two
      people get touchy igota?). Mtcheeew,nonsense,they both had their eyes tightly closed. "Bad market" my mind screamed, and I shut my eyes,
      squeezing them till I saw strands of light in the very black
      background and images of different shapes of blobs inbetween.
   
      I waited, honestly, I did wait_ I had counted up to two
      hundred and forty- five in my mind and still the prayer was
      still on, even Angel Gabriel sef would understand my plight; ah
      ah plus we were all kneeling o. And the "mummy" (in real sense,
      a twenty-two year old church leader, who has infact no child
      nor is married but hey, she's a mummy) had not even gotten to
      the conclusion of her prayers yet. She was still praying for divine mercy and Gods' miracle and I was imagining an alert of even 10k from some random person, as my own miracle. Or maybe 15k, I won't wish for 100k,ah ah, I'm not greedy now. Just 15k will do Lord.
      I had to open my eyes o. Before nko? I had finished praying my own.Then my mind did a stupid thing, it had to
      start thinking of hot okpa and custard. Of all things in the
      world! It had to be okpa and custard!! Not, pizza or spanish omelette but okpa and custard. Thank God I'm not
      catholic or I'd have been obliged to share my "father-I-have-sinned-I-was-thinking-of-hot-okpa-with-custard-and-maybe-a-plate-of-ayaraya-ji, during prayers"
      confession with a priest.
   
I tried to think of heavenly things instead, of Jonah in the fishs' stomach wondering what the hell he was doing there and how he was going to pee when he got pressed or how the rats in Noahs' ark must have been intelligent,civilised and well behaved unlike that uncultured rat I saw last tuesday running proudly towards my wardrobe.....
To be continued...

















































































Comments

Popular posts from this blog

I'm a Buffer Girl pour l'Amour

I’ve always known true love exists; always and convincingly known. 

Ado Awaye: The quiet town and mountains sitting pretty

If you’re thinking of the next place to tour in Nigeria, get in here, you might just be in luck.

The town of Ado Awaye is fascinating for not only its tourist sites but also its historical mythologies.

This review will help enlighten and prepare you for the trip to Ado Awaye with Lagos as the take-off location. This means your interpretation of logistics for this trip should be measured based on your current location.





Preparation When preparing to tour the town of Ado Awaye, these are a few things to take note of:

1. What to take
Because you’re touring, it is important to travel as light as possible. This means while packing, you should go for only essentials. Try assessing each item you intend to pack with these two questions: ‘Do I really need this?’ and, ‘Do I have another item serving the same purpose this said item offers?’.
Usually, 80 percent of the time, if you find yourself pondering over the above-italicized questions, the item in question will usually not be important.

On …

The City That You Were

i was Jos
and
he was Lagos. i was the quiet streets of Rock Haven:
the houses separated by the heavy silence
of unanswered 'hellos' from neighbours.
the absolute conservation of shades the trees
cast here- was totally me. he. he was the busy streets of Obalende:
the unrepentant conductors yelling,
'Yaba! CMS! Yaba! Yaba!
the circular circulation of human sweat waving
through the air like Oxygen.
neglecting the weaknesses of island Ajebutters and JJC pedestrians. at night i was the city of J-Town after 8pm.
quiet. eerily so.
soldiers securing fences of the selected few.
smoking stuff and drinking liquor,
with AK-forty-somethings to bring down any rebel who dared to equal. he was the busy streets of Lasgidi at night:
the traffic, in French translated to, "la circulation"
right up from Admitalty Way through the Toll gates.
Cars honking, drivers cursing, almost excitedly at each other.
LASTMA officials obeying the call to rip-off 'rich' drivers. …