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change forgets to change



      where did my genuine smile go?
     replaced with this hole;
     this empty eyed routine
     i do with my face.

    where did their love go?
    replaced with those very
    many questions
    and aristocratic doubts.

    where did my words hide?
   the fountain of them
    on nights as this
    in them i drowned.
  
   where did you go?
  leaving her with a lump in the
  chest region_
  the cancer,of which
  she died of a year or so later.
  
   where was everything as they were
  before we changed,
  it's all different now_
  everything is:
  the cold,  the heat,
  the wind,  the rain,
  they all forget their season.
  trees no longer sway,
  perfumes forget their scent
  the man who knew me once
  has forgotten my name.
  the spiders are no more web spinning,
  roaches forget to scavenge, 
pain itself forgets to hurt
  and my worn eyes
  forget the how to sleep:

  so i sit awake at three fifteen a.m.
wondering when the whole world
turned this mad

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need balance

there's some beauty in darkness:
something interesting about
the way the air would heavily light
an irony of perfect juxtaposition. there's some beauty in ugly:
something intriguing about the
huge grotesque scars that
seem to never want to go away. there's some beauty in evil:
un peu de la purité in
the heart of a condemned man,
an innocence buried beneath a blanket of
bottled up emotions. these little beauties we
choose to neglect
aren't they the very things that
make living bearable? who would be good without the existence
of evil?
who would be beautiful without ugliness?
or what story could ever be told without scars? need beauty and ugliness,
need scars and healing oils,
need good and evil,
need all the balance to remain
steady and sane in this
crazy crazy world. need balance:
then imbalance to
balance the human equation
now and again.