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Showing posts from 2017

September 23, Age 23

I have been called a lot of things; ‘weird’, ‘real’, ‘cynical’, ‘kind’, ‘beautiful’, ’impatient’, ‘good’, ‘mean’, ‘free’ and ‘quiet’. 
There’s a lot more, but that’d take up a lot of space (bet you get the idea).
And over the years, while some of these things momentarily defined me, might still try to even, I know that is not the case. This is because I have gradually come to the understanding that people will just drop words or phrases of who they think you are. Or better still who they might want you to be, to them_ I don’t know why humans do this, but we do.

No denying some of those words make up the person that I am but in my gradual process of self-awareness and understanding I have learnt so far that I cannot dwell on those adjectives to determine who I am.

Of course, this might come as a string of blah blahs and yapping, but I have had myself, my body and soul for 23 years and I can say boldly that no one has the right to define me or anyone else for that matter.

This is not t…

When my answers come

Life was designed to last once for every individual and as much as that sucks, it is true. We roam through life trying to figure out the true essence of existence and while that urge might be higher in some, it is lower for others. 
I mean, who cares about all of the serious stuff in life right? Roll up some weed, light it, smoke up some dose of daily conviction. Look forward to a what could be a better alternative for essence.
Truth be told, every single one of us humans on the surface of Earth, have that moment. A time when probably in a car driving to work, amid the endless news on the radio, it hits you- the realization of something beyond every individual you pass by on the streets, every nod you get in response to your greeting, every shade of pupils you've stared into.

And yeah, while some might boldly step out and share in an engaging tone, how, they realized, once, years back, the X, Y, Z, that led to making a significant decision in their lives, I sit there and wonder. I wo…


seven minutes in heaven;
seven minutes counting
heart beats by the second.
six minutes in heaven;
all the while tapping feet
on shaky wooden floorboards
in nervous delight.

five minutes in heaven;
five minutes counting
down to reality:
a beastly, slimy one.
four minutes in heaven;
wondering if by chance
or luck or grace,
a glimpse of an angel
 would suffice.

three minutes in heaven,
and lo a ladybird atop
your nose tickles,
dances, wiggles, jiggles,
then away,  flies.
two minutes in heaven,
two minutes or the next,
daydreams finally might come
to be:
visions of sunny skies,
silly side aching laughs_
chocolatey gums,
all on display
for my ever aching eyes.

a minute left in heaven
the last, the longest,
the shortest it seems,
the last before you wake
and stare at
the computer screen
in a crowded
noisy bureau,

you sigh.
"of course it was unreal."

Grace Oluchi Okogwu

 meme si mes yeuxs me pique, je vois


September1       September ushered in the last of the rains;  the kind that fell noiselessly and without the fierce winds like in May and June. 

May 17        May was when I saw it, the fierce eyes of Soluja the mad man. it had been a cloudy day, one where, the blackness of the cloud thickened, breaking up now and then with thunder and lightening, darkening my mood like charcoal.
       i was sitting by the window of the moving bus, lost in thought, what people refer to as being "absent minded," when my eyes met the mad man's. i'd expected to meet a blank expression but what my eyes saw were alert pupils; pointy unblinking eyes  with an air of artistic craziness. almost as if he could see through my fears, past my boldness to dare stare at him. he could see all of my secrets and those eyes,  still haunt me till this day...  

June 5           if i turned, she would definitely know i was staring at her and i wasn't about to give her the satisfaction of being admired. low…


i still love you

le mec

sipping coffee alone at nine
i thought was rock bottom torture,
till i saw unmec,
a guy,  an angel.
across my table he sat,
a cup of coffee
also ordered. "oh monDieu",
i thought "he's too gorgeous
siting alone
dansunecafé at nine o five."then like my head had imagined,
he looked my way
flashing his million dollar smile. and yes, my heart did melt
at the thought of this flirtingship.
for where in the world did this sort
of thing happen?
save for the universe, pararell,
my secret hide out. a second cup of coffee
i ordered,
bidding our harmless flirt
more time to
a second cup ordered he too,
seemingly interested
as i was. the third and fourth cups
of coffee came through.
and thought i how
fatigued it became;
this flirting.
time to call quits to our
eye locking
and get our hearts locking,
for the night. then
mon guy,
got up and kissed
another mec in French,
"tu me manques mon amour ",
dit-il à l'a…


pick a number,
one, three, seven:
only the odds,
so we both are even. close your eyes,
don't be shy,
it's just the both
of us here
with our crazy minds
as audience;
only our crazy minds
as audience. i said that twice already?
baby keep up.
we're duplicating thoughts
now in your mind,
tick off all those numbers,
sway your mind
me. what we'd be without all the figures,
fighting our fights.
all the figures,
keeping track of time.
all the figures,
ageing our flesh.
all the figures,
eating our minds. can we just be
without them?
love "pasblem".
that's French
for "noproblem".
or "no",
we will do without. pick a number,
two, four, eight
replace them,
all of them
with the image of me. let me be all the numbers
you need
and you,
my pretty little thing,
all the numbers to infinity
for me. g.o.

I Am A Woman

"you are to keep
your eyes down, " they said. 
at all times you are to 
it's easier,
you're a woman. 

make sure not to
sit among men
it's uncomfortable for you,
too complicated. 
don't you know you're
a woman? 
pick that broom up.
now bend really well
make sure you sweep thoroughly.
don't you know you're a woman?

if he tells you you're dumb
you probably are.
ssh my child,
your husband is never wrong
you need to know your place,
you are a woman. 
a boy beat you up?
what where you doing fighting with
him! a boy!
oh heavens she doesn't
seem to know
she's but a woman. 
now listen my dear child.
be very successful
but in chasing success
also be careful.
do not outdo yourself.
you have to be second best
men are not attracted
to ridiculously successful women
you know you're a woman right? and you need to find a husband before you clock 26!"
bow my head,
learn to keep a home,
nod yes to every word,
avoid men,

baby beauty

she was the kind of child
who possessed
baby beauty. the kind that
before sixteen,
her beauty would have
gone into her head,
exposing her to a man's
world before she understood herself. and at that point,
she'd be self destroying,
without  knowing. she would be like
an unripe orange
and like peeled unripe oranges,
before her prime. g.o.


Ndidi at ten was
a white rose,
from the outside and within
you could tell she was

it radiated through
her face,
her thick black kinky hair
and her watery eyes. at fifteen she
became a monkey:
spirited, like a horse.
full of energy- the
kind the sun possesses. 
most of all she became unpredictable
and like most unpredictable things,
hard to keep up with. she grew, she blossomed
transiting at twenty one. 
like a snake, she shed
all of her innocence.
her eyes, once watery,
spilled and in it's place,
stealthy temptation.
before thirty,
she had assumed the
shape of a cow
and consumed everyone
that came her way like fire does. 
Ndidi you see,
at forty-four became
a vulture.
feeding on the leftovers
of her youth.
and like all vultures,
she became a dreaded tale
in our town. 
and this my friends is who society sees in  a woman. 
they forget she was born,  bore children after she grew in constant  baptism of a certain man's supremacy. 
she bore children  feeding t…

Something I've Never Written Like This Before

growing up, my childhood was filled with fantasies of becoming an adult, doing general adult stuff and being grown up.(you get the picture right? )
    it's one obsession i think most people pass throughout their childhood and i wasn't an exception. through my teens, this anxiety heightened.  i was counting down, striking off years in my head down to the final "teen age" (nice pun right? ) until reality struck. it's not that i regret being  grown up, or that i'd wish to remain a child (like i've thought severally)- hell nah.  it's just that having hyped adulthood, it becomes devastatingly basic in reality. (for me at least, in my opinion). 
this is not to be taken too seriously though dear reader. these are merely some of the things i've had bottled up in my mind for some time. 
now the other day, i was telling a friend how being a degree holder didn't give me that special vibe i thought i'd get (like say magical powers) and how…